my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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