What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Randomize
