i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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