in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
farters have to be the big spoon...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
