i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
