I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
