oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
