Don't make out with my wife yet
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
