I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
