Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
