So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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