she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
