I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
