3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize