Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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