Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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