I wannas sexs uuuuu
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You pole danced in your parka.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
