either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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