I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
