My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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