Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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