Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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