New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
