My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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