Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
