How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
