is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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