We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
