i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You are a genius and a whore.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
