I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
