You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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