im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
