I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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