I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
