Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
