So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
