Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
