Soap is not a condiment
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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