so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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