Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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