i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
