That's intense
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
