Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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