I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
