Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
