i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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