I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
