So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
