I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
