I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
