This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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